Putting On The Big Boi Boots

Twitter is... a thing that exists. And a thing that I, as a writer who hopes to one day be traditionally published, should have. It's where the agents and quick query events and networking all are. It's where you can get a platform and interact with audiences beyond just Tumblr, which right now is the only social media I have. So I should really get one. Right?

But here's the thing. I'm hecking terrified of Twitter. Like, madly, absurdly scared of it, and of Instagram, and of any social media that isn't Tumblr or blissfully unsocial Pinterest. See, I hate social media. Not in an "oh the cursed youth these days with their books of faces and twittering" way, though. I think social media and the internet overall are extremely good things and I'm glad they exist even with their many, many problems.

No, I hate social media, because I can be found. There are people who were in my life or are in my life that I honestly don't want finding me or being able to keep tabs on what I'm up to. That's a large part of why I'm on Tumblr but no others - Tumblr is so anonymous that I have Secret Side BlogsTM that not even my close friends on the site can find because nothing is connected and you can entirely hide your identity. On others... not so much, even if you are on private. When I had to make an Instagram account for a class, that would be used only for that class, one of the people I don't want peeking in on my life knew within an hour and texted me, angry I wouldn't let her follow. Even though it was for school only, and was just for that class.

It scared me.

Now, the thought of making a Twitter account is even scarier. I won't be able to put it on private. I'll have to talk about my writing, something that I very much want to be hidden from some of the people I've mentioned. They'll be able to follow me, and trust me, they will want to follow me, and I will have to let them. Not to mention the cesspool of anger, cancel culture, and dumbasses with an internet connection that is Twitter. I can handle negative reviews (mostly). I can handle homophobic and transphobic people coming at me for writing extremely queer shit. I can even handle the anger that is all over Twitter by taking breaks and only going on it a couple of times a week.

I don't know how to handle knowing that these people I'm afraid of are watching my every word. The very fact that some know about this website and can see this post is making me extremely afraid to press that publish button.

Now, I am going to make that Twitter account. I will network and have a stable author's platform because I will not let my fear of them control my life anymore, and I'm not going to let them hurt the success of my art and writing career. But I will be afraid, and I will likely struggle when they find my account and follow me. I know this. I'm preparing for this.

That's all this post is. Just me putting on my big boi boots before I go be brave. Wish me luck.

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